Who killed Mary Sue?
by Strange Music
Summary: It is a murder like none every before. At like at no victim ever the search for the who did it would be a tough one. Especially if the Fellowship is the Mainsuspect!
1. Cluedo in Middle Earth

Because of the discussion on slashlords and too many Mary Sue stories on the same day…  
  
This is the result ;)  
  
Yes that means Slashwarning....if gay relationships squirk you..you better leave than flame.  
  
And anger yourself more than any flame will ever anger me. Actually they amuse me.  
  
Mostly it is clear in the title.  
  
Title: Who killed Mary Sue  
  
Author: Strange Music  
  
Rating: PG…..Partly Grazy ;)  
  
Summary: It is a murder like none every before. And like at no victim ever before  
  
it will be tough to find out who did it. Especially if the Fellowship is the Mainsuspekt  
  
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com  
  
Series/Sequel: Maybe in other fandoms…but really. This one needs no Sequel  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the people of the fellowship. They all belong to Tolkin.  
  
~bowing before the master~  
  
If you want you can guess the murder ;)  
  
And in case you haven't guessed it is all humour.  
  
Who killed Mary Sue?  
  
By Strange Music  
  
October the 13th.  
  
A rainy day.  
  
My name is Farday, Jorn Faraday. And I am captain of the guards  
  
in Fanfia.  
  
It was early in the morning that I and the other guards were called to a scene most terrible and gruesome.  
  
As before us lay the most beautiful woman we had ever seen.  
  
What was so terrible about it you may ask?  
  
Well she was dead.  
  
And as we surrounded her we stood in silence for a moment.  
  
Watched as her brilliant blue eyes stared into the sky and her weaving raven black hair spread behind her like a halo.  
  
In one hand she held a sword and the other still glowed in the remains what must of been great magic.  
  
She was an elf or maybe it was just her royal appearance that made her look that way.  
  
We didn't have to look for her name to know who she was.  
  
She was Mary Sue.  
  
And she had clearly been killed.  
  
And if that wasn't bad enough, we looked into the crowd surrounding everything and knew that we had a very very long day ahead of us, if we would try and find the killer.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The first to come to question that day, was a man of dark hair.  
  
Don't think he thought much of us. At least his gaze gave me that impression.  
  
Not that I wasn't used that behaviour from a ranger. They always look down upon us. So why should this one be any different.  
  
Still for some reason it angered me. Not like he was some King.  
  
"So the name is Strider?"  
  
"As a matter of fact my name would be Aragorn."  
  
"But the little one called you Strider?"  
  
"Cause I am Strider as well"  
  
Great, the interviews where just starting and we had the first problem.  
  
"I am also known as..."  
  
I held up a hand "Spare me....First answer me if you anytime during the period of the last days or weeks you had known a woman named Mary Sue"  
  
"Unfortunately I did."  
  
"In what connection where you to the said person."  
  
He looked at me again with that exasperation look. As if I was supposed to know it.  
  
"The person Mary Sue was known to us under the name Sashella Rosetta."  
  
"Us?"  
  
"Myself and Boromir."  
  
I looked over to Harrods to make sure he was taking notes of everything.  
  
"Anyway. The moment she appeared I knew she was trouble. If only for the fact that Boromir couldn't stop looking at her and telling her how beautiful she was. Like I wasn't there. She on the other hand kept telling him about her troubled past, how much she suffered and how she  
  
never complained. Well, she most certainly complained now!"  
  
"So you were angry at her. Angry enough to kill her?"  
  
"I would never kill her."  
  
"Even if she caught the eye of your ...ahmn...friend?"  
  
"He is my lover and still I would never do such a thing."  
  
The way he looked at me I knew that he was telling the truth.  
  
So I just sighed and let him go.  
  
It took me a few moments till I realised that the next one had already arrived. As a matter of fact I didn't see him till he sat on the chair.  
  
A dwarf  
  
Great.  
  
Now that was a species that was known for their co-operation.  
  
Not!  
  
And right I was, as he was growling at me even before I started to talk with him.  
  
"The name is Gimli, Son of Gloin and I most certainly did not kill that dreaded women!"  
  
"So you admit that you knew her."  
  
"Of course I knew her. Couldn't keep her hands of my Legolas. Bewitched him worse than anybody ever before. Made him think she was the love of his life. A friend she said he had known and loved since he was a child. Could shoot arrows as fast as he. And some ancient history book told us that she was the only one not affected by the ring. Made me almost forget that I no longer despised elves that one."  
  
I sat up in a sweep of joy.  
  
"So you say that she was an elf?"  
  
"Of course she was an elf. I thought you saw her."  
  
"And she bewitched...your."  
  
"My Legolas."  
  
Just as I thought that things had gone smoothly.  
  
"You say you and the elf are..." I looked out of the door to the elf standing there "lover?"  
  
"Of course we are!"  
  
"Isn't there some sort of...I mean....size problem."  
  
For a moment he looked at me like one looks at dirt on the street. "There is most certainly no size problem. I am...well...well-endowed for a dwarf. And you better not mention this question to Legolas. Poor elf can't do anything about his genetic!"  
  
"I meant..." I stopped as from the way he held to his axe I thought it was better if I didn't ask him any further.  
  
Plus without more information it made it easier for me to later banish that picture out of my mind.  
  
"So you hated her!"  
  
"Yes, I despised her like none ever before."  
  
"And you killed her!"  
  
"Most certainly not Mister! I know that my love wouldn't want me too. And after all as he was already back with me I didn't see any sense in it."  
  
Now why did I know he would say that.  
  
I leaned back  
  
"Just send in the next one."  
  
As I had thought, the one who he sent in turned out to be the elf. Which was good as it finally gave me the chance to talk with someone that had actually liked and even loved her.  
  
"So the name is Legolas."  
  
"Legolas from the Woodland Realm in distant Mirkwood.. Son of Thranduil, the King of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood....."  
  
"Legolas is enough Harrod...."  
  
The elf threw me an annoyed gaze but then left it without further comment. Thou I think I caught him mumble something under his breath. Which even when I didn't speak the elfish tongue was able to translate as an insult.  
  
"I was talking with your...ahm...friend Gimli just moments ago. And he assured me that you and Mary Sue where in a rather close relationship."  
  
His gaze turned puzzled, as if for a moment he wondered what weed I had been smoking and if it might have been tampered with.  
  
"I most certainly did not."  
  
"So you say that she wasn't your lover/long lost friend?"  
  
Now he looked at me is if I had turned insane.  
  
"Lover? I hated that woman like I hated only few other people in my life. If there is truly evil it is her."  
  
Great, just as I thought that I had finally found a clue in this whole case, it was snatched away under my finger.  
  
"But the dwarf...Gimli...he said that"  
  
He smiled at me....something that would have been pleasant....if it wouldn't be like a parent smiling at a stupid child. Okay, so he was twothousand something years old....  
  
"Maybe is just tried to overplay because he was the one that had been bewitched by her.  
  
Said he had never seen such a glorious creature before."  
  
"So he has a certain love for elves?"  
  
"Elves? She was no elf, she was a dwarf he like he was. The only elf that he loves is I."  
  
It was enough. I felt my head almost bursting.  
  
"What kind of fool do you take me for? The woman I saw lying out there was most certainly no dwarf. I mean I am not sure if she was an elf or not. But she was no dwarf.  
  
"As I don't know you for very long I do not what kind of fool you are. For there are many kinds of fools to choose from. Neither am I able to make assumption on how keen your eyesight is. But if is Mary Sue we are talking about, she was a dwarf. Although I remember that Gimli called her Melinda Goldstar. I never knew why? She was always Mary Sue to me.  
  
"So you hated her?"  
  
"She was an inconvenience but nothing more. Merrily a breeze in the winds of time. I knew that in the end Gimli would see her for what she was and return to me. "  
  
"So you didn't kill her"  
  
A smug grin appeared on his face "Didn't have to. Knew that with a lifestyle like hers, all that her future would hold for her would be beautiful....but dead."  
  
"Let me guess....the wind told you?"  
  
"No...I knew."  
  
When the headache behind my eyes was starting to pound I knew that it was time to ask him to send in the next person of the ones still out there.  
  
"Maybe you might be so kind and send in the old man out there. We wouldn't want to make him wait too long."  
  
He smiled a very odd smile…as if her were laughing at me….but then did as I told him.  
  
TBC.....Part 2 ASAP  
  
As soon as I have time in the office today to type the last few lines ;)  
  
Still to follow Gandalf, the hobbits, Boromir, Lurtz, Not to forget Ronda ;) and some more....  
  
If you want you can already put in a guess on who killed Mary Sue ;) 


	2. Your aye's may be deceiving....

All thanks in the next and final part....the one where the murder will be revealed.  
  
Let's just say that some guessed close ;)  
  
Have to post that quickly...so I hope all mistakes are out. If you find some...please tell   
me!  
  
Who killed Mary Sue? Part 2  
  
When the old man finally came in I still thought that I had made a wise decision. He looked   
like the grandfatherly type. I knew that he wouldn't make me the same trouble as others so   
far had.  
  
"Your name Sir?"  
  
"My name...well dear boy...that depends on who is asking. For I am known widely as Gandalf   
the Grey here in the North"  
  
"So it is Gandalf?" "Yet among the elves I am known as Mithrandir among the Elves. And the   
dwarves call me Tharkun. In the South my name is Incanus and Ol¢rin...."  
  
I took a deep breath to stop him as well.  
  
Only the glare of Harrod, that I felt so clear in my back stopped me. I assume it was the   
very obvious wizard hat and staff that we both had in sight that made him write them all   
down this time.  
  
"Before you ask, yes I was acquainted with the victim known as Mary Sue. Who was also known   
as Sarafina Crystal the beautiful or Clarissa Lerosa the glorious or Ranara Denford the   
annoying One...depending on who you asked." "And you're...relation to her?"  
  
"She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen and the most hideous at the same time.   
She had more power than anybody else and yet no power at all. Everybody loved her and hated   
her at the same time. She was different for each for each of us, a warrior, a magic, singer,   
a dancer still she was always Mary Sue."  
  
I like to pretend that I am able to follow what a person is telling me. I quit pretending   
this time around. "Was she human?"  
  
He smiled   
  
"Yes she was human."  
  
I relaxed...finally a clear line.  
  
"But of course she wasn't human at all. Because she was an elf and a dwarf and a hobbit   
too."  
  
I felt the headache return.  
  
"So you say she was an elf?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"But then you say that she was a dwarf as well."  
  
"Aye"  
  
"But that is not possible"  
  
"In her case it is. In her case everything is possible. There is nothing that she can't   
do. Nothing that she can't be and no one that she can't bewitch. She never looses any   
fight if she doesn't want to. She never fails a quest but to be comforted by others. I   
have to admit that for a short time I fell under her spell as well. Thought that she   
needed my protection. After all she had such a dark life the poor girl. And now with   
those great powers that she could not yet control...daughter to the black power...tenth   
member of the fellowship...destined to become the great queen of Gondor."  
  
"But...wasn't she?"  
  
"Anyway...after a good nights sleep I realized that it was all lies."  
  
"And you killed her for it!!"  
  
"I most certainly did not young man. I told her that I had found out who she is and that   
she should leave. Which she did. Okay There was a part where I treated to turn her into   
a newt. But mostly it was her own free will"  
  
The pounding was back full force. And yes...it hadn't gotten any easier. I just let my   
head sink to the table and asked him to send in the next one.  
  
I waited some time.  
  
And it was only when he heard a throat being cleared that he realized that there already   
was someone in the room. As he looked over the table onto the chair he realized that he   
looked into two pair of eyes.   
  
"I clearly remember saying that the next person was to come in. I did not say two.   
  
"I am sorry but I couldn't let Master Frodo get in here all on his own." The darker head   
bobbed up and down as the answer came to him almost more under the table than over.  
  
Ordering the guard to but a book under their chair it took only a few moments till I   
finally was able to whom I was talking to.   
  
"So one of you is named Frodo? " The older looking one nodded. Looking over to the other   
one "And your name, young man is? "  
  
"Frodo. "  
  
Puzzlement "You are both named Frodo? "  
  
"No..he is Frodo. My name is Sam"  
  
But you nodded when I asked if one of you is named Frodo...." I realized my mistake just   
as I finished the line. "Let's just forget it."  
  
They both nodded and smiled at me. Trusting smiles.  
  
I had never before been sure in my life that these were no killer.  
  
"You knew that woman little ones? "  
  
"Most certainly I knew that b..."  
  
He didn't come any further as the little one called Sam slapped his hand over his mouth.  
  
And all of a sudden I wasn't quit so sure anymore.   
  
So after talking with the others I knew what my next question most certainly had to be.  
  
"What were your trouble with her?"  
  
They both looked down to the floor.   
  
"Did you kill her?"  
  
They shook their heads.  
  
"But you two knew Mary Sue?"  
  
Suddenly Frodo's face changed completely. "Her name was Florence Starlight, because she   
smiled like the stars. She was my adopted daughter"  
  
*What the hell?*  
  
But I didn't interrupt him.  
  
"I adopted her the day that Bilbo left, sweet 7 years old she was back then." He smiled at   
the memory...the same even he had spoken completely different only a few moments ago. "I   
always knew she was something special. But it was only a few years ago that I realized   
that she had the gift of DawnVision, the sight of the day yet to come. Quit painfully   
for the poor child...gave her aches of the head"  
  
"Listen I don't be rude but the child that you are talking about can't be older than 8   
years...The woman we found most certainly was."  
  
"She was 7 years old 14 years ago...on my 33 birthday...now she is 20..or at least was."  
  
I looked at the boy in front of me. He had to be kidding.  
  
"But that would make you..."  
  
"51 years, yes"  
  
I know the following sounds where that of my chin falling to the floor.  
  
And the one of Harrod's pen following suit.  
  
He looked down and at least hat the courtesy to blush.   
  
"Most say that I look younger."  
  
Younger? Younger? He didn't even look like a Tween yet.  
  
He hadn't done it. I decided that in the same moment. So all I did was point to the door   
and hope that I would as least get some useful information from the one that was coming in   
next.  
  
A few seconds passed  
  
Frodo had already left through the door.  
  
And I was almost calling after them not to forget to send in the next, when I realized that   
Sam had lingered behind.   
  
Nervously looking at the door he only came back to me when he was absolutely sure that the   
door was closed.  
  
"Let me guess.she wasn't his adopted daughter.."  
  
I few moments alls he did was stammer and avoid my eyes.  
  
Then he nodded.  
  
"You see Mr. Frodo had a tough time. That might be why he thinks this strange tale is true."  
  
"But it isn't?" Well not as if I hadn't suspected this. "Then tell me who she was."   
  
He looked back at the door, once and only when he saw Frodo sitting down outside he kept on   
talking.  
  
"Her name was Mary Sue. And she was a very dangerous woman. Whenever she was around trouble   
where following stat. I mean Gandalf, a very very powerful wizard. When she was around he   
barly was able to light a fire. She had to do the magic. Boromir and Aragorn master of   
their Kraft, when she was around their swords broke and they lost even the easiest fights.   
But the worst it hit poor Legolas. Whenever that dreaded Mary Sue appeared he turned into   
a complete wimp. Couldn't do a thing without her presents."  
  
"At least you are all out of danger now"  
  
He smiled brightly "Yes, and till he is better I will take care of Mister Frodo."  
  
The look on his face made it impossible not to smile back "I am sure you will."  
  
And then he left .   
  
However all the good mood that he left me behind didn't spare me that the next time the   
door opened. The one called Boromir came in with two more of the little ones.   
  
"I am Pippin and he is Merry" They chirped happily   
  
"What part of 'just one person' didn't you get?"  
  
Still I let them sit. Happy that at least I would get the day by much faster.  
  
Trying to banish the thoughts and the pictures that came to my mind when the little one   
declined the offered chair and climbed up on Boromir feet.  
  
Already aware of the trouble that came with Halflings I Just tried to get them out quickly.  
  
Which wasn't easy when you where interviewing what looked like twins at first sight. Took   
me a few moment before I could tell them apart.  
  
"So you knew Mary Sue?"  
  
"Merry did!"  
  
The other shook his head   
  
"Did not"  
  
"Did too"  
  
"Did not"  
  
1 Minute later I had stopped listening. And I knew for certain that Harrod had stopped   
typing.   
  
"Stop it. Both of you!"  
  
The arguing stopped and two eyes looked at me puzzled. The one behind them just looked   
amused. Seemingly Boromir was quit used to situation like this.   
  
"But he started it!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did..."  
  
I can't remember the last time I threw such a grateful gaze at someone, as I did at   
Boromir the moment that he clapped his hands over their mouth. I had been right. He   
really was used to them.  
  
I looked over to Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Is there anything useful that you remember about her?"  
  
20 Minutes later I was dearly regretting the question as they where still describing her   
to the last piece of woolen on her skirt.   
  
And the skirt, it wasn't just as blue as the sky whose dawn is about to come.  
  
She didn't have green eyes  
  
She had eyes that reminded you of a pond in a park. Deep and sparkling with life and   
beauty .  
  
And her hair wasn't just blond....  
  
I was feeling the slightest urge to throw up.  
  
No make that strong urge.  
  
And I had no envy for poor Harrod who actually had to spend. For I was quit sure that if   
the feelings of arrow where right in my back he was definitely hating me right now.  
  
Finally they came to an end.   
  
"Mr. Boromi. Is there anything that you can add? After all you lover told me that you   
were involved with her."  
  
The moment I saw the gleam appear in their eyes I felt my own grow bigger.  
  
"Don't tell me that the three of you."  
  
"Why shouldn't we?" The one I recalled as Merry smiled brightly.  
  
I ignored him as I looked at Boromir "But I thought your lover was Aragorn?"  
  
Okay so I didn't really know why I keep asking that question. Even when I already knew   
that the answer would be, that he hadn't known her at all. Maybe it was the slight bit   
of optimist that I still carried in me.  
  
Or the strong urge to close that damn case and finally get home.  
  
  
The one called Pippin smiled "Oh he is..but also Legolas, and Gimli and and and"  
  
"Boromir's a slut" Merry chimed in  
  
And the mentioned person looked like he wanted to sink into the floor.  
  
I returned the favour he had given me earlier by letting them go.  
  
Only before they left there was one more thing I had to ask "You are not going to tell   
me that Frodo was your lover as well?"  
  
"Of course not" Merry laughed brightly.  
  
"Sam would have killed him" Pippin added.  
  
And with that they left.  
  
Then just as I though that I wasn't going to see anybody female today. I real gorgeous   
looking Lady Elf appeared in the door. Flowing cloth, enchanting eyes and a big charming   
smile  
  
It wasn't till she sat down that I realized that she wasn't a Lady after all.   
  
"Ahmn Mister.ahmnn"  
  
He flapped his hair back and batted his long lashed eyes at me.  
  
"It is Elrond. But you can call me Rhonda."  
  
"Okay Mr. Elrond"   
  
He seemed slightly miffed by that for a second but it didn't last too long."  
  
"Now in what connection where you with the victim Mary Sue?"  
  
"Oh Mary Sue, that tramp....just walked down the road and suddenly Daphne was head over   
heals for her"  
  
"And where can I find this Daphne?"  
  
"Over there she is..." as he pointed to the old man I had talked with before.  
  
I heard the sigh coming from Harrod as he wrote down yet another name for the wizard.  
  
"You see she has quit another personality at the other end of the forest. Anyway Daphne   
was starting to be interested in her...Which of course was something that I could not let   
happen."  
  
"And so you killed her!"  
  
He looked definitely shocked "Of course I didn't kill her. Don't you know how hard it is   
to get blood out of the clothing....and if I break a nail...those have been growing for   
the last thousand years. Always taken good care of them."  
  
"So what did you do?"  
  
I kidnapped her petdragon.  
  
"But I thought that there haven't been any dragons around for the last fifty years."  
  
"Oh she would have had one even if there were extinct. She always has one."  
  
She smiled proudly at the idea.  
  
"Of course she did as I told her and left."  
  
I just left my head sink to the table and waved her out.  
  
The day went on...and we were still not closer to finding the killer as we had when   
everything had started.  
  
There was another Lady, a real one this time. At least as much as I was able to check,   
and you never knew with elves.  
  
She spoke to us in our mind.   
  
Something that made it quit difficult to make a protocol of , as she told me something   
else then she told Harrod.  
  
Before she left she smiled at me that she knew my thoughts cause 'they are also in my   
mind'. I knew she was lying, cause if she would have known what I was thinking she   
wouldn't have smiled.   
  
Her motive had been so clear.  
  
Mary Sue had had disturbed the way of things.   
  
An outsider to the world of middleearth...not made by the maker.  
  
And stone in the water that sent waves of unknown dimension.  
  
But when I asked her what she had done about her she had only said something about a   
birdbath.  
  
Definitely a strange Woman.  
  
There was also the cave troll whose words, to be exact where "Bad woman. Caught my   
Boromir's eyes. No longer was happy to see me."  
  
From Boromir quick hiding behind the back of his friends I very much doubt that he   
ever had been happy to see him.  
  
"Had he killed her?"  
  
Well he at least admitted that he tried it. Only that someone had been quicker. And   
he for the time of the murder he had an alibi....some date with a Balrog...at the same   
time.  
  
There are some images in my head that I could have happily lived and died without ever   
knowing.   
  
This was one of them.  
  
Not to forget Lurtz who didn't say much but rather growled and hissed. ...I am sure he   
didn't do it...not intelligent enough.  
  
And I surely hope that I just imagined him waving to Boromir, Merry and Pippin.   
  
Again....there are some images.  
  
There was also the creature Gollum.  
  
Who of course didn't really make much more sense then the rest of them did.  
  
"We hated her...we loved her"  
  
I tried to remain calm "We...that would be?"  
  
"We...there is just us. We *are* just us and no one else. Hated her cause she hurt the   
master. Loved her because she was almost as beautiful as precious. Hated her because   
she didn't share. Wanted all for herself."  
  
He looked at me with big eyes as if it all made perfect sense.  
  
Never before in my life had I aver felt such a strong urge for a day to be over.  
  
So as the day ended...we still were one murder short.  
  
And it took me another few hours till I finally realized who had done it.  
  
Till I had a prime suspect  
  
Saruman....most certainly he must have hated her for being the only human creature on   
middle-Earth that was hated by more people than he was.  
  
The chances where good.   
  
I really hope I was right.  
  
The End  
  
So...who would you suggest? ;)  
  
Maybe Sauron? For being the only evil on Middle-Earth that he couldn't control?  
  
Or maybe no one out of Middle-Earth at all. Maybe in an alternative universe there are   
also Jim/Blair, Bodie/Doyle, Starsky/Hutch, ObiWan/QuiGon, Max/Kyle, Hercules/Iolaus,   
Benton/Ray(Ray2) and so many other to consider when it comes to hating Mary Sue;)  
  
So take a guess...Who do you think ;)   
  
The conclusion Will be posted tomorow...  
  
So stay tuned..... 


	3. And the murder is......

Okay..I know I said Saturday. Hence it was that life didn't turn out   
that way. As my computer was in work in Saturday and on Sunday I had   
just a short visitright ;)  
  
Anyway before I talk to long.   
  
A quick very heartly thank you to all kind reviews and I promise that I will work   
up on all the e-Mails that I haven't answered yet!!   
  
And now the Conclusion:  
  
  
Who killed Mary Sue?  
by Strange Music  
  
It was hours later that Johrn Faraday finally was able to get away   
from the the insanity that had become his work.  
  
Sitting down in the nearby Inn he was startled out of his   
thoughts...and almost dreams when a big Pint of beer was put down in   
front of him.   
  
He looked at the waiter in question. For me most certainly was   
pretty dazed. He was not dazed enough to to forget that he had   
ordered a beer. And he was sure that he hadn't. And he only tended to   
forget things like this after he started to order them.   
  
The waiter just pointed at the group of people sitting only a few   
yards away. He reconiced them most of them as the people that he had talked to all   
day long. Only a Lady among them he hadn't seen before. But why would they buy him a beer.  
  
And why would they smile at him. He most certainly hadn't been *that*   
nice to them.   
  
And then a voice, the ElfLady's voice appeard in his mind.   
  
Her voice clear and warm as she simply simply said.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
Not the End  
  
The Curtains fall and a Redhead appear in from of them.  
  
"Please don't leave your seats yet. As it may leave you in confusion   
that I hopefully can clear.  
  
Okay....the murder is.....Johrn Faraday.  
  
Because there is an unwritten rule somewhere that states that it is   
physically impossible for a Mary Sue and a Harry Stu to be in the   
same story.  
  
No story would be able to bear it.  
  
Why he doesn't know it is simple. Like Mary Sue's don't know for   
themself who they are. The same rules goes for Harry Stu's.  
  
Plus....Like Mary Sue he is bound to the will of the writer....moi.   
Who is currently thinking that after the Orcs the Mary Sue were the   
next evil armee to invade middle Earth. So I made him do it."   
  
And Quick bowdown and then she disappears behind the curtain.   
  
Now wanting to wait for any incase tomatoes.  
  
THE End  
  
Okay...seriously   
  
I hope you are happy with the conclusion. I am open to suggestion for   
any else.   
  
Just liked the though of the murder being Harry Stu.  
  
The moment with the pint was for you Ms.C: Cause you said that you   
would order the one that killed her a pint ;)  
  
And yes the change in POV was planned ;)  
  
Feedback appreciated :)  
  
Hope all mistakes are out. But I have no ABC-able computer at the moment ~growl~ 


	4. A few hints on how to really kill her ;)

How to really kill her Okay...and now a few tips on  
  
**How you can *really* kill her**  
  


_**~*~Plot~*~**_

  
  
First and foremost:   
  
If the thought leading to the story is:  
  
_"I wish I could be in middle Earth so that I can get my hands on Legolas. Wait I can. I just take this Girl that is being send to middle Earth. But I wouldn't life long in middle Earth. So I have to make her much smarter than me. And of course I would be able to conjure Magic and fight swords. Or would it be better if she is a elf?"_  
  
Then you need to take no test and spend no thought.   
  
**You have MarySue at your hand.**   
  
How can you kill her? In case you want to.   
  
I mean sure we all have our little fantasy's from time to time. Just don't expect the story to gain more reviews than "Coool" "Love Legolas!!!" "Write more!!"   
  
So how do you kill her?  
  
Don't get me wrong. Not all female character are MS. Actually just the perception of the reader is making the decision.   
  
For some a Mary Sue is someone who is perfect, acts perfect, is considered perfect by everyone and often dies a perfect death. And other consider Mary Sue's to be ANY kind of female Character that has more intelligence than a potato (IQ 18), is able to breath and walk at the same time and is not killed at sight by the Main characters.  
  
If they are the later you can't help.  
  
But If you write the former than the percentage of People seeing it (correctly) as Mary Sue will multiply to s sheer amount.  
  
**_The Top 10 of Mary Sue Plots_**  
  
1.) She is the secret 10th Member of the fellowship.  
2.) She is a former (and future) love interest of any of the 9 members  
3.) She is related to any of the 9 other Members.  
4.) The story revolves more around her than about the members of the fellowship. Above mentioned have no more Plot than to safe her and cuddle her after she was hurt (the amount of cuddling depending on the Rating)  
5.) She is from our our Time and gets sucked into Middle  
6.) She is the best friend of any of the 9 others Members  
7.) She is a she either one of the most powerful Magic or one of the best Sword-fighter.  
8.) She is both from above.  
9.) She is the daughter of any of the other Major character in middle Earth...Elrond for example.   
10.) Without here the ring would never be able to be destroyed.  
  
These plots unless written by a VERY clever and very skillful hand. (which very few have.admittly me neither) lead directly to Mary Sue. Not to mention that all off them have been over used to a degree that is no longer funny. Actually it never was.   
  
The chances that if you write one above themes you will come up with a plot that hasn't been written before are about as slim as winning in the lottery. So unless you won last week you are entering dangerous country.  
  
_10.) Without here the ring would never be able to be destroyed._  
  
There are many person who are helping along the way but you are not among them and neither is you Mary Sue. Also unless you read the books you probably have a wrong picture on how the films will continue (Reading Spoilers and asking friends who read it excluded)   
  
Remember that Tolkien's Mind works a lot more complex when it comes to the story.  
  
_9.) She is the daughter of any of the other Major character in middle Earth...Elrond for example. _  
  
OverOverused and in most stories only a reason to give her royal blood.  
  
_7.) She is a she either one of the most powerful Magic or one of the best Sword-fighter._  
  
Yes there are chances that she is any of that. But why? Most times it is just a reason to give her ways to show of and outplay the other Members. Admit it. Is there any real Plot reason why she has to be more skilled at archery than Legolas. Better at sword-fighting than Aragorn. A more powerful Magic than Gandalf?  
  
_8.) She is both from above._  
  
Same as above only worse.  
  
_6.) She is the best friend of any of the 9 others Members_  
  
Making her a friend to one of them is not the mistake. But most MS writers are not contempt with that. For them She is the ONLY friend that for example Legolas has.   
  
But Legolas has Aragorn and more important he has Gimli. Both of them are one of the ultimate example of friendship in middle Earth (Others being Pippin/Merry and Sam/Frodo) The overcome their differences and grow very close. Writing a story with MarySue and Legolas without even including Gimli would be like writing a Sam that has forgotten that Frodo every existed.   
  
_5.) She is from our our Time and gets sucked into Middle _  
  
Now this is a plot that has been done to death! and then some more. Unless you write a Parody that has not a single serious sentence it will be like Groundhoundday for most readers.  
  
Or even worse as with groundhog-day the days at least had a variety and a change every day.   
  
_4.) The story revolves more around her than about the members of the fellowship. Above mentioned have no more Plot than to safe her and cuddle her after she was hurt (the amount of cuddling depending on the Rating)_  
  
I think above speaks for itself. As soon as a plots revolves more around the female character (who is neither Rosie Cotton, Arwen or Eoywen (who?..wait a few month) more than the regular....she is a Mary Sue.  
  
And a not very interessting one as a fact.  
  
You might get you kicks out of having the Fellowship wait around you for every whim that you make. Fall in awe silence or tender care.   
  
But most of us don't (We want them for ourself ;) )  
  
_3.) She is related to any of the 9 other Members.  
2.) She is a former (and future) love interest of any of the 9 members_  
  
Same as reason as 4 and 6 and 9  
  
_1.) She is the secret 10th Member of the fellowship._  
  
There is NO 10th Member of the fellowship.   
  
For NO reason whatsoever.   
  
Not so that there is one more than the black riders. Not so that she can be the one to fight Sauromon.   
  
Not cause she has to replace Boromir. and even less that she has to replace Gandalf.  
  
In the story that are many people that are as important in helping the fellowship. Faramir, Eomir, Eowyn and so on. But the members of the fellowship remain the same as they start out from Rivendale.  
  
_**

~*~Charakterisation~*~

**_  
  
One big Mistake....Charakterisation is NOT Description.  
  
If you tell the reader who cool you character is dressed it make her just a plain cardboard like figure. Your reader will care nothing for her.   
  
Same goes for describing her feature and hair only.  
  
Don't get me wrong. It is in a way important to the imagination of aforementioned Character  
  
But it isn't the character. Is is the person.  
  
The character is for example  
  
a.) How does s/he react?  
b.) Why does s/he react that way?  
  
You cannot use a without b  
Take a look at your charckter.   
  
What is her background?   
Where does she come from?   
What is her life so far?  
What family does she come from  
What is her motivation?  
  
But in all that don't forget to keep her human not make her a super-hero.  
  
Tell her story....But keep possible.  
  
_**

~*~Dialogs~*~

**_  
  
Middelearth is not Now-Time.  
  
They do not talk like they do today.  
  
Do not let Mary Sue walk around with a few (in your option cool) saying. There is no cool in Middle-Earth. There is no time and no need to be cool.  
  
I know that not many of the writers (including myself) are able to write in the same stile as Tolkien. But at the least keep it neutral. Maybe read a bit into the book or watch the film again to get a little feeling for the speech.  
  
Try not to be overly moral in her speech. Not every line that she says has to have the rest of them in awe.   
  
Actually none should  
  
TBC at a later time...  



End file.
